Each person in a relationship has one Venus and one Mars. Each Venus and each Mars pair off to create two astrological couples.
Two pairs of lovers
If you have Venus in Aquarius in the 9th house and Mars in Scorpio in the 12th house, and your partner has Venus in Virgo in the 3rd house and Mars in Leo in the 4th house, you have two pairs of lovers:
- Venus in Aquarius in the 9th house and Mars in Leo in the 4th house
- Venus in Virgo in the 3rd house and Mars in Scorpio in the 12th house
These are two different couples within the same relationship.
Venus in Aquarius (9th house) and Mars in Leo (4th house)
This couple has a push-pull attraction. Aquarius and Leo oppose each other in astrology. Aquarius is detached and impersonal. Leo is warm and personable. Aquarius thinks Leo needs to get over himself. Leo thinks Aquarius is cold and uncaring. If things are good Leo becomes less self-involved and Aquarius remembers to care about individual people.
Being in the 9th and 4th house, these two clash on issues of travel versus home, growth versus comfort, and world culture versus personal culture. Mars in Leo is likely a “homebody” while Venus in Aquarius wants to see the world. Mars in Leo cares about his family and personal history while Venus in Aquarius is more interested in the history of whole groups of people. Venus must respect Mars’s attachments to home and family. Mars must become less self-involved and more willing to get out and see how the rest of the world lives. This couple will experience the clash of wills. Aquarius and Leo are fixed signs and they are both stubborn.
Venus in Virgo (3rd house) and Mars in Scorpio (12th house)
Virgo and Scorpio are sextile signs. Virgo’s ability to see the details fits well with Scorpio’s desire to get below the surface. Both signs tend to be skeptical. Venus may feel neglected by Mars’s lack of interest in everyday life. Mars in Scorpio in the 12th house will wish that Venus in Virgo in the 3rd would free her mind of preoccupations and let go of reality for a minute. Mars in Scorpio’s secretiveness could make Venus in the 3rd upset. Venus in the 3rd wants to talk about what is going on and may resent his need for privacy. The 3rd and 12th houses are both focused on communication, but their areas of focus are different. The 3rd house is about daily activities and relationships while the 12th is about otherworldly activities and relationships. Mars will have to snap back to reality and Venus will have to loosen up her daily agenda.
The dominant couple
Each of these couples has its own issues and compatibilities. Sometimes one couple will seem to dominate the overall relationship. For example, if the person with Mars in Scorpio also has the Sun, Moon and Mercury in Scorpio, then that Venus in Virgo/Mars in Scorpio relationship might feel dominant. The relationship might revolve around communication and lack of communication. There might be less room for the Mars in Leo/Venus in Aquarius couple to have expression.
This is a simplistic way of looking at astrological couples. The big picture pulls in all of the planets and aspects, not just Venus and Mars and their relationship to each other.