Venus and Mars in Synastry: Two Pairs of Lovers


Each person in a relationship has one Venus and one Mars. Each Venus and each Mars pair off to create two astrological couples.

Two pairs of lovers

cute aging coupleIf you have Venus in Aquarius in the 9th house and Mars in Scorpio in the 12th house, and your partner has Venus in Virgo in the 3rd house and Mars in Leo in the 4th house, you have two pairs of lovers:

  1. Venus in Aquarius in the 9th house and Mars in Leo in the 4th house
  2. Venus in Virgo in the 3rd house and Mars in Scorpio in the 12th house

These are two different couples within the same relationship.

Venus in Aquarius (9th house) and Mars in Leo (4th house)

This couple has a push-pull attraction. Aquarius and Leo oppose each other in astrology. Aquarius is detached and impersonal. Leo is warm and personable. Aquarius thinks Leo needs to get over himself. Leo thinks Aquarius is cold and uncaring. If things are good LeoΒ  becomes less self-involved and Aquarius remembers to care about individual people.

Being in the 9th and 4th house, these two clash on issues of travel versus home, growth versus comfort, and world culture versus personal culture. Mars in Leo is likely a “homebody” while Venus in Aquarius wants to see the world. Mars in Leo cares about his family and personal history while Venus in Aquarius is more interested in the history of whole groups of people. Venus must respect Mars’s attachments to home and family. Mars must become less self-involved and more willing to get out and see how the rest of the world lives. This couple will experience the clash of wills. Aquarius and Leo are fixed signs and they are both stubborn.

Venus in Virgo (3rd house) and Mars in Scorpio (12th house)

feet in waterVirgo and Scorpio are sextile signs. Virgo’s ability to see the details fits well with Scorpio’s desire to get below the surface. Both signs tend to be skeptical. Venus may feel neglected by Mars’s lack of interest in everyday life. Mars in Scorpio in the 12th house will wish that Venus in Virgo in the 3rd would free her mind of preoccupations and let go of reality for a minute. Mars in Scorpio’s secretiveness could make Venus in the 3rd upset. Venus in the 3rd wants to talk about what is going on and may resent his need for privacy. The 3rd and 12th houses are both focused on communication, but their areas of focus are different. The 3rd house is about daily activities and relationships while the 12th is about otherworldly activities and relationships. Mars will have to snap back to reality and Venus will have to loosen up her daily agenda.

The dominant couple

Each of these couples has its own issues and compatibilities. Sometimes one couple will seem to dominate the overall relationship. For example, if the person with Mars in Scorpio also has the Sun, Moon and Mercury in Scorpio, then that Venus in Virgo/Mars in Scorpio relationship might feel dominant. The relationship might revolve around communication and lack of communication. There might be less room for the Mars in Leo/Venus in Aquarius couple to have expression.

This is a simplistic way of looking at astrological couples. The big picture pulls in all of the planets and aspects, not just Venus and Mars and their relationship to each other.

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  • Pisces North Node

    Michelle, love your site. Great article. Can you help me understand mine?
    His Venus/Mercury in Scorpio 10th, my Mars in Cap 8th -(Sextile)
    His falls in my 6th and mine in his 12th.

    My Venus/Pluto in Virgo 5th, his Mars/Sun in Sag 11th. -(Quintile)
    Mine falls in his 8th and his in my 6th.

    Also, by degree, my moon conj his sun/mars, his moon opposes my mars. Can you tell me the dominant pair & how it expresses itself in the respective houses?

    • Hi Pisces North Node, can you provide a bi-wheel chart so I can see the overlays?

  • Naty

    what about venus in virgo in the 12 th house? a guy I started to like has moon in capricorn and venus in aquarius, I couldn’t stand him, he is too cold and detached.

    • Hi Naty, where is your mars and where is his mars?

      • Naty

        I don’t know where is his mars.. My mars is in the first house. In fact I already “dumped” him.

  • Harley10

    Hi, I have a doubt ’cause I’ve never though as a relationship within the relation because our natals venus and mars. My Venus in Virgo 10th house conjunct his Mars in Virgo 1th house, and also his Venus in Virgo 1th house squares my Mars in Gemini 7th house. Also our Mars squares a little, and because of other aspects we have a pretty intense and deep relation but because of the “attraction-repulsion” thing we’re in a quite on-off relation. Can it work in long term?

    • anything can work long term depending on how much effort you want to put into it. At a certain point you’ll have to ask yourself how much work is too much work.

  • Snow

    My Scorpio 11th house Venus conjuncts his Scorpio 9th house Mars. His Venus is also in Scorpio conjuncts mine. My Taurus 6th house Mars opposes his Scorpio 9 th house Venus and our Mars also in opposition. And then his Sun conjuncts my Venus. Things get pretty intense and there’s chemistry everywhere. Of course we do fiight but can’t stay mad at each other.

    • How long have you been together?

      • Snow

        8 years now.

        • That’s fantastic. Seems like you have a good thing going πŸ™‚

  • Nova

    my sun is pisces with venus in aries and mars in aquarius. my new man is also a pisces but with venus in aquarius and mars in scorpio. our chemistry is off the chain. what are your thoughts for long term? thank you πŸ™‚ Nova

    • Venus in Aries could feel suffocated by Mars in Scorpio. They both have aggressive tendencies with Mars as ruler of Aries and co-ruler of Scorpio. Mars in Aquarius and Venus in Aquarius should get along well. With these two pairs, there could be trouble with knowing if you should be friends or lovers.

  • Deanna

    Hi there – interesting, thought-provoking article. What would you say about my chart when it comes to how I approach relationships and/or what kinds of men I should be pursuing? In my 10th House, I have: Venus and Mercury in Aries (just 5 degrees from each other), and Sun and Moon in Taurus (just 3 degrees from each other). I have my Mars in Pisces in the 9th House. Rising sign is Cancer.

    • Venus and Mercury in Aries … someone spontaneous who enjoys a certain amount of verbal sparring and teasing.

      Sun and Moon in Taurus … someone who puts value on money and comfort.

      Mars in Pisces in the 9th … someone who makes lifestyle choices/chooses a belief system that supports kindness, sympathy, spirituality, music, dance, and poetry in his life.

  • blaqstyle

    How about woman Venus in Aries 9th and man Mars in 9th (In whole house his Mars in 10th) Libra?

    • Venus in Aries will want to get to the point and Mars in Libra won’t be so quick to jump in … could be sexually frustrating.

  • Cunbong1611

    I have Venus in Scorpio, Mars in Virgo and he has both Venus&Mars in Aquarius. Not very compatible right πŸ™
    Extra information (just in case you need :p) : Me:Scorpio Sun & Libra Moon . He: Capricorn Sun & Aries Moon πŸ™‚ thanks anyway.

    • Not especially compatible. Lots of stubbornness. How long have you been together?

  • Emily

    What about – Me: Venus in Sagittarius in 8th, Mars in Capricon in 10th, Him: Venus in Capricorn, Mars in Scorpio.

    • Mars in Capricorn and Venus in Capricorn is a good match – a very ambitious match. Probably a goal-oriented union. Venus in Sag and Mars in Scorpio could have some difficulties. Venus in Sag is much more carefree than Mars in Scorpio which could have a tendency to hold grudges.

  • So is jealousy and possession all that it says?

    • No, of course not πŸ™‚ You might have issues with your need to dominate the conversation versus his desire to dominate the bigger picture. You might be too competitive and try to constantly one up each other- though it could be hot. You might be too much of a homebody which cramps his need to travel.

  • What do you have to say on my Mars in Aries 3rd house and Venus in Taurus 4th house with his Mars in Aries 2nd house Venus in Scorpio 9th House?

    This seems interesting to me as a lot of house rulers, similarities and opposites!

    • Because you have the same Mars sign, you end up with your natal pairs. I think the focus will end up being on you each deal with the other’s Venus- one in dignity and one in detriment. Jealousy and possession would be issues.

      This seems interesting to me as a lot of house rulers, similarities and opposites!
      Is this a relationship, or a potential relationship?

      • Yes jealousy and possession are definite issues. This is a new relationship, but will be ending shortly due to him going overseas for an unknown amount of time (6months+) Unfortunately because I think we are quite a good couple πŸ™

  • I think that having two different modes is a possibility.

    I think your second combination is the more ardent of the two couples. I would guess your first combination would show up more if you guys actually lived together. You'd have your everyday relationship mode, and your romantic/sexual (5th/8th) relationship mode.

  • Interesting way to look at things. So, I have Venus in Pisces in 6H and Mars in Pisces in 5H. My bf has Venus in Scorpio in 8H, and Mars in Leo in 6H. So, our pairs would be:

    Venus in Pisces in 6H, Mars in Leo in 6H
    Venus in Scorpio in 8H, Mars in Pisces in 5H.

    Let me get this straight. So, are you saying that with every couple, there are two different “modes” that couples sometimes take? So, for example: With Venus in Scorpio in the 8H & Mars in Pisces in 5H — (while these they're trine by sign, they're squared by house) Venus tends to be subtle about its tastes & desires, while Mars wants to be more demonstrative?

  • nat

    You 're right. MyNorth Node and my Asc in Taurus have made me a Sag that is craving for stabillity. I have to start controlling my addiction to drama cause It 's really tiring and self-distructive.

  • What houses are your planets in?

  • If you want to move away from crisis, start practicing being calm and being OK with things being calm. I think that Scorpio planets sometimes create a craving for intense drama- and then more intense drama. Your North Node in Taurus really wants you to head toward being stable, steady and relaxed.

  • nat

    I do create crisis. But I think it is because of my sun – venus- uranus in 8th. I always want to feel strong emotions. And if they are absent, I can trigger them on others and my self. Even if that means that I 'll end the relationship or worst that I 'll put my self in a state of mind that “HE HURTED ME” so that I can feel something strong (even thought with my moon in aquarius I can overcome almost everything in minutes).
    Many times it's like I'm playing a game with my self. I really feel things that I say to my self to feel -like an actor does in a play- and I know the point I sould stop feeling and I do. Self-distructive scorpio what can you say?? I don't think I can do otherwise…
    I feel sorry for those that hurt me though……

  • arieswoman

    O one more thing Michelle, now maybe i'm wrong thinking this but if his venus is in Gemini and Mine is in Aries and Aries and Gemini are a great match,( my best friends a gemini and i adore her too bits too.) and the two of us have pisces mars which would make it easier to identify and understand each other it must be a good match LOL LOL if that all makes sense

  • arieswoman

    Ok, michelle from my own personal experience we are a great couple when we are together in a relationship but a distaster when we are apart. one of us either looks for attention off the other and goes to extremes to get it or the other will be taken for granted, insecure at times and chase. But the both of us are drawn to each other in a strong way.

    But then again we are like best friends when together. its a hard to to judge on.

  • What do you think? What is your experience?

  • I think it gives you a strong pull toward Scorpio behaviors. The Scorpio half of each couple might dominate, even if it's not in your best interest. With your South Node in Scorpio, and conjunct Pluto, you really want to watch any tendencies to create crisis.

  • arieswoman

    ok, what if u have a venus in Aries and Mars in Pisces and your lover has a venus in Gemini and Mars in Pisces. Is that a good match or is it trouble LOL

  • nat

    Yes It does. My Mars is 1 03' and my Pluto in 6 30' and they both conjuct with my south node in 8 05'. What do you think???

  • Keep me posted. I'd be interested in knowing if other relationships showed a dominant couple.

  • Those sign stelliums still seem to make the couples even. Pluto in Scorpio is a powerful placement- does it conjunct one of your Mars?

  • Grace

    Just looked at two past relationships; seems like the “dominant couple” in each also dominated in overlay (her mars/venus in my houses or vice-versa) which supports your perspective… I will enjoy looking at more with this additional tool…

  • nat

    Well we both have planets in a particular sign.
    I have Sun, Venus, Uranus (8th) Saturn and Mercury (7th) in Sag. And also Pluto in Scorp in conj with my 7th.

    He has Sun, Venus, Mercury, Neptune in Cap in his 1st.

    I think my Pluto beats everything πŸ™‚

  • firetiger

    hmm this explains some of the disconnect to me..

  • Yes. So I did have it wrong.

  • firetiger

    ohhh kk ya so it would be Venus in Scorpio 1st (mine) Mars in Scorpio 2nd (his)
    Venus in Aquarius 5th (his) Venus in Aquarius 4th (mine)

  • Your Venus goes with his Mars and his Venus goes with your Mars. Did I get your planets mixed up?

  • firetiger

    hm… maybe u need to explain it to me again ?.. isn't it venus/scorpio/1st, mars/aquarius/4th..

    and venus/aquarius/5th and mars/scorpio/2nd?

  • Having a dominant couple seems to depend on whether one of you has a lot of planets in a particular sign, not just Venus and Mars.

    These matches seem fairly even. They both involve Scorpio, and they each involve a fixed house and an angular house. The 8th house Venus with 11th house Mars could give issues about whether you should be friends or lovers.

  • So it ends up being:

    Venus/Scorpio/1st with Mars/Aquarius/2nd

    Venus/ Aquarius/5th with Mars/Scorpio/4th

    Your Venus and Mars being angular would make you more of an initiator. Meanwhile he has doubly fixed energy.

    The problem with fixed squares is that they come to a stalemate- nobody wants to be the first to give in, but somebody has to do it.

  • nat

    well, I can see your prespective.
    I have Venus in Sag in my 8th and Mars in Scorp in my 6th-7th
    He has Venus in Cap in his 1st and Mars in Scorp in his 11th

    I think I have the dominant couple cause of the 8th and the scorpio.
    What do you think???

  • firetiger

    oh interesting perspective.. i guess when i'm looking at synastry i look at how the planets flow together but now instead of taking aspects so literally i look at the whole dynamic of the chart.. i like the way youre going about this

    so last u heard about this guy i was talking to .. well we aren't really talkng anymore.. i wanted to have a conversation to clear the air and he disappeared sooo .. haha it's lovely

    but we have a really interesting venus-mars dynamic… i have scorpio venus and aquarius mars… he has aquarius venus scorpio mars

    my venus is in the 1st house and mars in the 4th… squared off in an aries/cancer way… both angular houses… i have always felt like initiator between us.. i hate it but i also can't seem to *help it* either… i think also my venus ruled by mars.. and in the first house.. i have difficulties tempering my urges…

    he has venus in the 5th and mars in the 2nd house… leo/taurus dynamic… fixed… very stable and grounded in his habits and desires.. which even tho leo-aries, taurus-cancer sounds nice i think we really do have difficulties getting it off the ground because i feel a great sense of *stuck* on his part.. something in him is unwilling to 'give up' to me and Angular Me is tired of constantly falling short

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