Fears of being in a position of authority, yet wanting to be an authority on something. Feeling that people don’t take you seriously, yet taking yourself very seriously. Having trouble earning respect. Respect is all-important. Extremely rigid and formal behaviors to deflect attention from deep sensitivity. Having a rigid internal voice of authority. Keeping yourself in line. Not needing to be disciplined because you discipline yourself. Keeping yourself on task. Having an internal disciplinarian. Having an internal authority. Internalizing the voice of your father. Purposely avoiding responsibilities and maturation. Putting too much power into the hands of external authorities, or being extremely skeptical of external authorities. Dreading the duties and burdens that positions of authority bring. Dreading the responsibilities that maturity brings. Lessons learned through trusting your own authority. Attitudes to authority that are passed down through members of a family. Lessons learned through examining your attitude toward authority figures in your life. Lack of responsibility or too much responsibility. Lessons learned through taking responsibility for yourself.
Disliking to be questioned about whether or not you are right. Fear of being judged, yet being judgmental of others. Fear of getting it wrong. Feeling that you are always wrong. Trying to heal the incessant negative voice within. Learning how to stop the litany of self-defeating messages that you send yourself. Being your own cruel mistress. Using seriousness as a way to deflect people from probing into your feelings. Taking yourself too seriously as a defense mechanism. Getting defensive about learning and mastery. Having issues with people in a position to teach you something, or having issues with your ability to teach others. Learning problems that are passed down. Wisdom gained through lightening-up. Wisdom gained through not taking yourself so seriously. Wisdom gained through being gentler with yourself when things go wrong. Wisdom gained through developing flexibility. Wisdom gained through easing up on too high standards and expectations for yourself and others. Wisdom gained through accepting limits. Learning to use limits to your advantage.
Perceiving limitations as greater than or less than what they really are. Locked in a self-imposed box. Carrying depression as a wound. Carrying loneliness as a wound. Having depression as a family trait that gets passed down. Being able to deal with depression more easily as you get older. Lessons learned through dealing with depression. Gaining inner wisdom through overcoming habits of self-limitation. Inner wisdom gained through periods of isolation. Sensitivity to those suffering from depression, loneliness or feelings of isolation. Sensitivity to those who feel abandoned.
Father issues. Having an ill, weak or ‘wounded’ father. Seeing your father as a mentor or teacher. Your father is trying to recover from his own wounds. Your father has had to bear some hurt or pain throughout his life. Dad suffered from depression. Dad suffered from fears, inhibition and feelings that he wasn’t good enough. Dad felt that he never lived up to expectations. Your father feels like a failure. Your father is hard on himself. Your father may not be able to get up and dust himself off when he falls. A male legacy of not being good enough. A family pattern of male workaholics. A family pattern of ‘masters’ in a particular field. A pattern of family members who have impossible standards and expectations for themselves. A pattern of family members who feel lonely or isolated. Your father was unable to act as your father for some reason. Having had a strict father. There were rules and regulations to be followed or there was a lack of rules of regulations. Separations from men. Feeling that you had to be your own father because your real father was unable fulfill the role. Trying to heal wounds with your father. Fearing that you will not reach your father’s expectations. Feeling the pain of separation from your father. Inability to mature fully until father issues are resolved.
Fear of not meeting expectations. Purposely failing so people will no longer expect great things of you. Purposely failing to avoid taking responsibility. Being extremely hard on yourself when you don’t reach expectations. Pretending that you don’t care or that it didn’t matter anyway. Overwhelmed by standards and expectations. Extreme sensitivity to failure. Not wanting to disappoint those people whose opinions you respect. Extreme sensitivity to people’s expectations. Learning that there are many failures on the road to success. Failure is part of success. Not letting failure make you fearful of putting yourself out there. Gaining wisdom through overcoming inhibition. Letting time be on your side. Learning to see obstacles and setbacks as part of progress and forward movement. Time heals all wounds. It can take a long time for your wounds to heal.
The key to healing is gentle discipline. The key to healing is resolving issues with your father, step-father or other male authority figures in your life. The key to healing is creating a healthy, flexible routine. The key to healing is getting out of your own way. The key to healing is seeing obstacles as part of your path instead of being in the way of your path. The key to healing is wanting to tackle fascinating problems. The key to healing is letting go of an adherence to rules that no longer apply. Wholeness comes through reconciling inner and outer voices of authority and their influence over your life.
Chiron is both a minor planet and a comet. It is located between Saturn and Uranus. Chiron takes about 50 years to make one complete cycle through all the signs of the zodiac. Chiron is in Libra for the shortest amount of time – 1.5 years; and in Aries the longest – about 8 years. Chiron’s symbol resembles a key. Saturn and Chiron form a conjunction approximately every 147 years. Recent conjunctions between Saturn and Chiron occurred in 1672, 1820 and 1966.