hat do you do in the shadows? I’m dead, I’m dead, I’m dead. You’re a shadow of your former self. You’re dead, you’re dead, you’re dead. You are the taboo. You are the thing that no one wants to talk about. Your father is the taboo. No one wants to talk about your dad. Your dad exists on the brink of death. Your father might be jealous of you. I can only find myself if I make your problems my own. Your father is “dead.” Something within him died, possibly before you were born. Your father’s life force was drained from him. Your life force is weak. You need to be revived. Revive your life. Resurrect your creative life force. Your vital signs are barely palpable. Probably best to dodge the spotlight. Shed your outworn self on a regular basis, like a snake sheds its skin. Stand centered in the mysteries of life. Be the mystery.
The end of the line. The last of a legacy. Standing in the shadows of a legacy. Controlling from a hidden place. Submerged in the dark. Finding yourself through occult interests. Finding yourself through immersion in mystery. Being at the center of a mystery. Finding yourself at the center of a scandal. Finding yourself as the Prime Suspect. No one pays attention to the things you do because your doings rarely reach the light of day. Flashlight in the Graveyard. Your life happens mostly behind the scenes. You find yourself in supporting roles. No one ever truly knows how much energy you give to others. You are a battery charger. You have enough energy leftover to charge up other people.
You get down to what matters, and that makes people uncomfortable. Feeling the energetic atmosphere is who you are. Should you exert control over it, or not? Should you try to influence others energetically? What would be your motivation for doing so? Low-exposure. Fading light. The dying of the light. Late afternoon. Other’s people’s egos. Other people’s issues with authority. Dealing with other people’s Daddy Issues. Other people’s core problems. Other people’s low self-esteem. Dealing with other people’s losses. Grief counselors. Retirement counselors. Mortgage brokers. Bankruptcy lawyers.
How much debt do you have, and who do you owe? How can you be yourself if there is nagging in the background that you owe someone something? Is it justified? Do you owe your energy to someone else? Do you owe them your time and resources? What are your debts? When are your debts paid? Beyond money. Energy exchanges and life exchanges. Did bringing you into the world drain someone else’s energy? Did your coming into the world revive someone else’s life? Are you an energy vampire? Where do you drain yourself? What in your life needs to be revived? What part of your life is dead and needs transforming? Meet my dad, Dracula. Meet my dad, Hugh Hefner. Meet my dad, Huggy Bear.
Finding who you are may require forging deep partnerships and alliances. You may never feel exactly like yourself as much as when you are sharing “secrets” with others. Who knows your secrets? Who can you trust, and who is trustworthy? Maybe only a few souls in the world. *Opens safety deposit box* Oh, look, so that’s where I’ve been hiding! Keeping yourself locked up safe. Experiences of being over-exposed and vulnerable, now you just want to hide. To be, or not to be, that is the question. “I am my own counselor.”
You’re an authority on deep exchanges. You’re an authority on financial support. You’re an authority on death and dying. You’re an authority on sexuality. Daddy was a pimp. Daddy was a creep. Monsters under the bed. Transforming relationships with father figures. Transforming relationships with authority figures. Sexual power dynamics with authority figures.
Your life purpose is transforming. Your life purpose is needs to be renewed. Your vitality is weak. Your energy is low. Your creativity needs to be regenerated. Your self-expression needs an overhaul. Revamp your life. Stop being boring.