I was very emotional and cried a lot last night. I didn’t go out and party, I decided to stay home and reflect on the past year and set intentions for the New Year. By midnight I felt overwhelmed by hurt feelings and self-pity, but combined with the desire to do something about them. I think I dove headfirst into the transiting South Node in Cancer. If the South Node is a place we should be moving away from, then the South Node in Cancer shows that we should be moving away from childish emotional displays and toward maturity (Capricorn North Node). But that’s not what I did. I totally embraced emotional waters and it’s not surprising since the Lunar Eclipse at 11 Cancer conjoined my natal Mars at 10 Cancer, both squaring natal Pluto at 10 Libra.
This type of behavior and emotional response is the opposite of what I ‘should’ be doing right now with the pile-up of planets in Capricorn (Pluto, Venus, Sun, Mercury and North Node), and with the upcoming New Moon in Capricorn on the 15th. Then there’s also the tightening square between Saturn and Pluto, which certainly doesn’t encourage self-indulgent cry fests.
Though, as I think about my actions last night, I think that maybe that was my last good cry of the year. Maybe I had to get it out my system to get on with the ‘business’ (good Cappie word) of 2010. Maybe I had to let those feelings out so I can move past them. Perhaps the Full Moon in Cancer on New Year’s Eve signaled that I should do exactly that- indulge in emotion one last time to prepare for the tough year ahead.