November 3, 2009
Instead of visiting the Guidance Counselor for help with career direction in high school, I wish I had visited an astrologer.
I feel so betrayed upon realizing that my college degree is right in line with my South Node. In fact, my jobs since getting my degree have been in line with my South Node too. I guess it’s not coincidental that they’ve been unsatisfying.
Taurus South Node in the 9th house:
- Desire for career in fine art, unprecedented in family
- Oil Painting degree
- Art model
- Director of art school
- Seen as an artistic type (Venus, dispositor of Taurus, at the Aries Point in the 7th house)
- Understand abstract concepts that have no relevance to everyday life
How annoying. When I decided to major in art, I had within me the sense that understanding art was important. I felt that if I did not have a solid appreciation of art, my life would be incomplete- I would not achieve what I wanted to achieve in life and I would not be accepted by those people whom I perceived as my peers. Yet, when I completed my degree, I felt that I had just worked very hard for something virtually worthless, and today, I feel like I want nothing to do with an artistic career at all anymore. My degree feels like a hollow, meaningless victory.
Maybe by pursuing a degree in the field of my South Node I filled some need to reconnect with a past self, but, in doing so, I did nothing to improve my life this time around. The further I get into art, the more estranged I feel from my life path. Explaining why I don’t want to paint as a career makes my throat tighten – I just don’t want to do it anymore.
In the Tarot, the 8 of Cups signifies abandonment – it’s letting go emotionally of a situation that no longer captivates one’s heart. There is no further benefit from putting one’s heart into a particular situation. The South Node path makes me feel unsatisfied, and that my efforts are futile, so I’m walking away from it. The 8 of Cups accurately portrays how I feel about my South Node at this time.